People I'd Like To Meet - Part Deux

Have you ever noticed that, when they can think of enough child-like words to string together, tea baggers make a lame attempt to discuss complex political issues? More often than not, they will, at some point, make a reference to the Second Amendment as though gun violence has anything remotely related to political dialogue in a democracy.

When they do, I immediately think of, perhaps, the most famous psychologist in world history. This man's groundbreaking research has covered many topics, but his most famous research is related to firearms and conservatives, especially those who glue tea bags to their heads.

In 1975, Dr. Charles M. Noodick, using a grant funded by a private foundation and the National Institutes of Health, assembled to team of 120 researchers to survey 60,000 conservative gun owners across the United States. The research methodology included printed surveys and telephone interviews conducted from 1975 to 1985.

The survey questionnaire and telephone interview included questions regarding gender, age, income ranges, and physiological questions. Of the 60,000 participants, one-half agreed to a thorough physiological and psychological examination. These were conducted over a period of several years.

In late 1985, Dr. Noodick's research team completed the last examinations that involved follow-up questionnaires for research participants. The final report of the research team was completed in early 1987.

Among many interesting conclusions reached as a result of Dr. Noodick's research, the most revealing was that the average conservative male who owns multiple weapons was ten times more likely to be physically and verbally abused as a child primarily by an overbearing father. Based on physiological examinations, conservative males, owning more than one firearm, had, in general terms, a penis several times smaller than the average American male. As the number of guns possessed increased, research indicated penis size became smaller.

Dr. Noodick stated, in a 1990 interview, that generally speaking conservative males possessing multiple weapons also suffered from severe penile inadequacies including an inability to satisfy sexual partners.

Dr. Noodick surmised that multiple gun ownership provides, in a small measure, conservative males with a sense of the male adequacy they lack and while the gun can go off, they can't!

See: www.gunsandtinypenisconservatives.com

People I'd Like To Meet - Part Un

Today, I begin a series of short articles related to famous people I'd like to meet.

On days when you're feeling an extremely low, or non-existent, level of self-esteem, do you ever find yourself using the remote control to entertain yourself by flipping through endless boring channels on Comcast or Dish Network?

Perhaps, in a moment of loathing self-abuse, you've found yourself staring at the Faux News Channel. If so, you've noticed the frequency with which Ann Coulter appears on Faux News. Each time I see Coulter, it brings to mind one of the people I'd most like to meet.

His name is Dr. Chang E. Yu, an internationally recognized surgeon, who several years ago, using the most advanced surgical techniques of the time, miraculously transformed Dan Coulter into "Ann" Coulter who, according to Sean Hannity, is a remarkably handsome woman albeit with manly knuckles.

Dr. Yu's techniques were so precise he was able to transform Dan Coulter's tiny, conservative-sized penis into "Ann's" female genitalia that has become very appealing to conservative men and more than a few conservative women.

www.danasann.com

102 Things NOT To Do If You Hate Taxes

The folks at Addicting Info have created a list for conservatives who hate taxes. It's a convenient list of "Things NOT to Do" if you hate paying taxes.

1. Do not use Medicare.
2. Do not use Social Security
3. Do not become a member of the US military, who are paid with tax dollars.
4. Do not ask the National Guard to help you after a disaster.
5. Do not call 911 when you get hurt.
6. Do not call the police to stop intruders in your home.
7. Do not summon the fire department to save your burning home.
8. Do not drive on any paved road, highway, and interstate or drive on any bridge.
9. Do not use public restrooms.
10. Do not send your kids to public schools.
11. Do not put your trash out for city garbage collectors.
12. Do not live in areas with clean air.
13. Do not drink clean water.
14. Do not visit National Parks.
15. Do not visit public museums, zoos, and monuments.
16. Do not eat or use FDA inspected food and medicines.
17. Do not bring your kids to public playgrounds.
18. Do not walk or run on sidewalks.
19. Do not use public recreational facilities such as basketball and tennis courts.
20. Do not seek shelter facilities or food in soup kitchens when you are homeless and hungry.
21. Do not apply for educational or job training assistance when you lose your job.
22. Do not apply for food stamps when you can’t feed your children.
23. Do not use the judiciary system for any reason.
24. Do not ask for an attorney when you are arrested and do not ask for one to be assigned to you by the court.
25. Do not apply for any Pell Grants.
26. Do not use cures that were discovered by labs using federal dollars.
27. Do not fly on federally regulated airplanes.
28. Do not use any product that can trace its development back to NASA.
29. Do not watch the weather provided by the National Weather Service.
30. Do not listen to severe weather warnings from the National Weather Service.
31. Do not listen to tsunami, hurricane, or earthquake alert systems.
32. Do not apply for federal housing.
33. Do not use the internet, which was developed by the military.
34. Do not swim in clean rivers.
35. Do not allow your child to eat school lunches or breakfasts.
36. Do not ask for FEMA assistance when everything you own gets wiped out by disaster.
37. Do not ask the military to defend your life and home in the event of a foreign invasion.
38. Do not use your cell phone or home telephone.
39. Do not buy firearms that wouldn’t have been developed without the support of the US Government and military. That includes most of them.
40. Do not eat USDA inspected produce and meat.
41. Do not apply for government grants to start your own business.
42. Do not apply to win a government contract.
43. Do not buy any vehicle that has been inspected by government safety agencies.
44. Do not buy any product that is protected from poisons, toxins, etc… by the Consumer Protection Agency.
45. Do not save your money in a bank that is FDIC insured.
46. Do not use Veterans benefits or military health care.
47. Do not use the G.I. Bill to go to college.
48. Do not apply for unemployment benefits.
49. Do not use any electricity from companies regulated by the Department of Energy.
50. Do not live in homes that are built to code.

The fact is, we pay for the lifestyle we expect. Without taxes, our lifestyles would be totally different and much harder. America would be a third world country. The less we pay, the less we get in return. Americans pay less taxes today since 1958 and is ranked 32nd out of 34 of the top tax paying countries. Chile and Mexico are 33rd and 34th. The Republicans are lying when they say that we pay the highest taxes in the world and are only attacking taxes to reward corporations and the wealthy and to weaken our infrastructure and way of life. So next time you object to paying taxes or fight to abolish taxes for corporations and the wealthy, keep this quote in mind…

“I like to pay taxes. With them, I buy civilization.” ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

You can see the remainder of the list by using the link.

The Conservative War Against Woman

You have to love George Carlin, and his monologue about the conservative war against women is hilarious. CAUTION: The language may offend some.

Earth Calling Right Wing Bigots

On what planet do right wing haters of President Obama live? Let's examine the right wing's response to the killing of Osama Bin Laden.

First, conservatives claimed the president was lying and bin Laden was still alive. Next, they claimed the president was lying and that bin Laden had been killed months earlier but Obama covered it up until he could use it to distract from the birther issue. Their next ploy was to concede bin Laden was dead but claimed Obama was hiding the deaths of his wife and children by not releasing photos. Then, they claimed that burial at sea was to cover up the fact that bin Laden had been tortured before he died. Glenn Beck, a hero to the most extremist conservatives, claimed the burial at sea was a deliberate "show of respect" so that bin Laden could "get his 72 virgins in heaven." Bill O'Reilly, who has repeatedly lied about his "working class" roots, led the charge of "Obama is taking credit for the Navy Seals and really had nothing to do with it" nonsense. Finally, they went fully psycho and tried to credit George Bush for Obama's success. And let's not forget the Freudian Fox "News" headlines: "OBAMA bin Laden Dead"

Right wing extremists claim Obama is responsible for civil unrest in the country. However, the civil unrest in this country was instigated BEFORE Obama took office, before he even was nominated, and it was instigated by the racist right playing the full deck of race cards starting with the birthers and going on to the "secret Muslim" connection, the attacks on Rev. Jeremiah Wright, the nonsensical "palling around with terrorists" attacks, and so forth. It is conservatives who continually play the race card at the slightest opportunity, or often out of thin air, and the only thing the right's disgusting bigots ever say is "President Obama is playing the race card." I have a tip for them and one that might keep right wingers from getting beaten to a pulp in a bar fight one day ---> CALLING A RACIST A RACIST IS NOT RACISM!!! NO ONE has ever called someone a racist for opposing President Obama's POLICIES. It is in the opposition to President Obama's EXISTENCE that right wingers manifest their racism in virtually every statement they make that is based on the President's skin color.

Finally, another topic dear to the hearts of right wingers is the U.S. poverty level and the War on Poverty. They make grandiose claims about the failures of the programs but fail to mention funds for the programs were cut by Richard Nixon and subsequent conservative presidents. The fact is the two presidents who saw the greatest DECREASE in the national poverty level have been Lyndon Johnson and Bill Clinton. They showed a small rise under Reagan and are skyrocketed thanks to George W. Bush.

It's bad enough to be a right wing bigot but to be a completely uneducated right wing bigot is worse.

Adam And Teddy

I feel compelled to warn conservatives this isn't a story about two homosexuals but is an economic story. The moral is modern-day "conservatives" are , based upon the words of two men greatly revered by conservatives, actually modern-day economic extremists.

"The necessities of life occasion the great expense of the poor. They find it difficult to get food, and the greater part of their little revenue is spent in getting it. The luxuries and vanities of life occasion the principal expense of the rich, and a magnificent house embellishes and sets off to the best advantage all the other luxuries and vanities which they possess. A tax upon house-rents, therefore, would in general fall heaviest upon the rich, and in this sort of inequality there would not, perhaps, be anything unreasonable. It is not very unreasonable that the rich should contribute to the public expense, not only in proportion to their revenue, but something more than in that proportion." (Emphasis added)

"I believe in a graduated income tax on big fortunes, and in another tax which is far more easily collected and far more effective - a graduated inheritance tax on big fortunes, properly safeguarded against evasion, and increasing rapidly in amount with the size of the estate." (Emphasis added)

The first quote comes from Adam Smith's An Inquiry into the Nature and Causes of the Wealth of Nations, Book Five-Of the Revenue of the Sovereign or Commonwealth (1776). Smith argues not only that the rich should be taxed in proportion to their income but further argues they should be taxed at an even higher rate.

The second quote is from Theodore Roosevelt's The New Nationalism. Roosevelt supported, in direct opposition to modern-day Republican and tea party economic extremism, a progressive income tax. He also argued that inheritances should be taxed to ensure major wealth was not passed on to descendents who hadn't earned it by competing in the free market.

When do modern-day right wing economic extremists begin to claim Adam Smith and Theodore Roosevelt were socialists?

The bottom line is modern-day economic extremists, found among Republicans and their allies in the tea party, have a radical agenda for corporate feudalism in America.

Random Thoughts, Part Deux

It's obvious, except to tea party members, that I haven't written much for this blog in the past few months. However, you should know I've been giving a lot of thought to some of life's most intriguing questions.

Is it wetter underwater if you're there when it rains;

Is it shorter to New York than it is by plane;

Is it hotter down south than it is in summer;

If a grocery store offers flu shots, do they give them in the meat department because the meat industry has so much experience injecting hormones into meat; and,

Was Humpty Dumpty pushed?

Earlier this year, Virginia had an earthquake! This raises an important question. Whenever an earthquake hits California, crazed fundamentalists, such as Pat Robertson, claim God is punishing the state for its pro-gay policies. Very well! Since Virginia is one of the most conservative states in the United States and is controlled totally by conservatives, many of them born-again Christians, for what crime is God punishing Virginia?

Last year, during the Michigan governor's race, I commented on the absurdity of Rick Snyder's belief that government should be run like a business. At the time, I mocked Snyder by asking, based on the current Michigan economy, what the hell did he plan to do, lay off Michigan residents. It turns out the mocking was correct.

In August of this year, Snyder signed a law limiting welfare payments to 48 months. The result of the law is that welfare payments for approximately 41,000 Michigan residents ended on October 1 at a time when the Michigan economy continues to remain in the doldrums. In effect, Snyder and his anti-working class, anti-poor allies in the state legislature downsized 41,000 people. Don't hold your breath waiting for Snyder to limit tax subsidies, for the wealthy and Michigan corporations, to four years.

Since last year's mid-term elections, we've seen right wing extremists, such as Snyder and Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker, wage total war against the working class, the poor and collective bargaining rights. Meanwhile, tax subsidies for the wealthy and corporations continues. In Congress, right wing extremists attack workers' rights, Social Security, and health care reform. Although they gained control of the House of Representatives on a jobs platform, Republicans have yet to pass a single jobs bill. The only proposals they offer are continuing the failed policies of the past, namely, more tax cuts for the and more subsidies for corporations.

During another era, when the Republican Party was less extreme, a Republican president wrote, on November 8, 1954 in a letter to his brother, "Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. There is a tiny splinter group, of course, that believes you can do these things. Among them are H. L. Hunt (you possibly know his background), a few other Texas oil millionaires, and an occasional politician or business man from other areas. Their number is negligible and they are stupid."

Fox News is designed to give ignorant people delusions of adequacy.

For at least the last three presidential elections, we've heard much rhetoric from Republicans lamenting the fact the party can't seem to garner much support among Latino voters. You'd think Latinos would be a natural constituency for the Republican Party since Latinos oppose same-sex marriage, have strong religious values and are very pro-family.

Have you seen any of the Republican presidential candidate debates? During a debate, several weeks ago, one of issues debated was immigration.

It's clear, to most observers, the Republican/Tea Party candidates are clueless. If the party holds out any chance of gaining a significant share of the Latino vote, conservative candidates will have to do a better job of debating the issue other than moving farther to the right.

Rick Perry, Governor of Texas, has stated numerous times "It is not safe on that border.” However, Perry's claim, similar to the claims made about the extremist Arizona immigration law, are undermined by the fact numerous law enforcement officials who work along have stated the border is than it has been in years. Furthermore, as I previously noted in this blog, federal crime statistics indicate that, even as the number of undocumented immigrants has increased, the U.S. crime rate has continued to drop.

Another approach, advocated by the more cerebrally-challenged Republican/Tea Party candidates is the "Let's Deport Them!" mantra. I doubt most of these people can count higher than ten, but can you imagine the costs associated with arresting and deporting 11 million undocumented immigrants? The only possible solution to solving this issue is comprehensive immigration reform that includes a path to citizenship for the millions of undocumented immigrants already in the United States.

The only other tactic of Republican/Tea Party candidates is to praise Sheriff Joe Arpaio. If you aren't familiar with the name, he's the notorious anti-immigrant Sheriff of Maricopa County, Arizona. For those of us old enough to remember, Arpaio is the Bull Connor of the present generation.

Did the name, Chenille, originate with a French woman who, in labor, looked down at the bedspread and decided it was a pretty name for a girl?

"The economic well-being of a country is not measured exclusively by the quantity of goods it produces but also by taking into account the manner in which they are produced and the level of equity in the distribution of income, which should allow everyone access to what is necessary for their personal development and perfection. An equitable distribution of income is to be sought on the basis of criteria not merely of commutative justice but also of social justice that is, considering, beyond the objective value of the work rendered, the human dignity of the subjects who perform it. Authentic economic well-being is pursued also by means of suitable social policies for the redistribution of income which, taking general conditions into account, look at merit as well as at the need of each citizen." (The Compendium of the Social Doctrine of the Catholic Church, 303)